I don’t know if anybody out there has ever used a neat little rig called “Google Translate,” but it can be very helpful. I’ve used it many times in cases where I’m dealing with people who speak and write in other languages. The problem with it is that once you start it, you’re roped into it full-time, especially if you seem to be doing it correctly. You have to be careful not to use slang as it is very literal in its translations.
Of course, my version of the English language can leave a lot to be desired, so I really have to be on top of my game. I recall one time I was told my handwriting left a lot to be desired and I took it as a compliment, so you see how far I’ve come over the years.
Actually, I’ve only used French so far and the reviews have been okay. I haven’t tried using “glomming, stick of tips, spleeny, or acrost” yet and that’s apparently a good thing. Believe it or not, I actually tried using Chinese on an ATM before, thinking I had my routines all down so there would not be any issues. After I tried to pull out the fortunes of the Irvings and McCain’s in one withdrawal, I have decided that I had better stick with English in these transactions.
I just told the bank employees that their machine was using a different version of Chinese that I was used to “back in the day.” After all, I studied Magaguadavic Chinese at Shanghai High School but it’s so much more different than Mandarin and other versions. At least this is the story I told to avoid charges and it seemed to float. I just hope I don’t ever called into a big meeting or hearing in Ottawa in front of a committee or the jig may be up.
I was watching the news the other night and they were waiting for Justin Trudeau to appear at a rally in Toronto. When he finally did arrive, there was much fanfare as it appeared that most of the people in attendance were Liberals. Then, as he commenced his speech, it became apparent that perhaps not EVERYBODY in attendance was Liberal after all. There were a few nay-sayers in the crowd who were whisked away after they started to get agitated.
To my astonishment, Trudeau thanked them for their comments and spoke of how great our country is that we can shoot out mouths off all we want. I thought Justin was a boxer? Why didn’t he just give these people a good tuning and maybe then they’d learn to shut their traps and not interrupt when somebody is speaking?
If you think about it, at any one time in this country, anywhere between 25 to 75 per cent of the people don’t like the Prime Minister and the job they’re doing. Why would anybody want this terrible job? It’s a lot more fun to sit around in your bunny slippers and yell at the TV. If your approval rating was this bad at your workplace, you’d probably be long gone.
For instance, if you were a mechanic, you’d MIGHT get away with putting tire studs on cross-threaded or not replacing an oil filter, but it would get old pretty quick. Still, you could still probably walk into the lunch room without people heckling you and waving signs at you. Also, you probably wouldn’t have to sit there and listen to co-workers rat you out and tell everybody how you tried to get them to keep all your mistakes on the down-low.
I think it was José Maria de Eça de Queirós who said, “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.”