You may call them skills, but I call them skabits

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I realize that words evolve over years, and we have more words now than we ever have had. One big driving force is technology and invention. You hardly ever hear anybody say that they got a new Johnny Cash 8 track tape but may say they got one on iTunes.

Sometimes words are just invented without any real accomplishment. I recall when all-star pitcher Roger Clemens was being grilled by Congress under oath about his alleged use of performance enhancing drugs. They had a guy who said he injected Clemens and others with juice, and one guy being star pitcher Andy Pettitte. Pettitte was forthright about his dealings and said he did get injections and implicated Clemens as well. At times, Clemens struggled to find the right words as he was pressed by lawmakers and actually said that Pettitte “misremembers” things. Well, I am here to tell you I personally was involved with one of my own. A guy sent me a couple e-mails and realized I wasn’t the guy he meant to send them to in the first place. He fired off an e-mail that simply said, “Sorry Mark, I misincluded your name here.” I will have to see if I can track somebody down at Sesame Street to get this one added to our vocabulary. I saw another one that was hilarious. It was about the hockey team in Toronto and how their general manager Brendan Shanahan has a “Shanaplan” to get this team back to where it was in 1967. I think I may just coin my own term and say I have a new “Taylordian” saying and it’s “that guy is tougher than burnt baloney.”

There’s an old saying that goes something like, “Some people rob you with a gun while others rob you with a fountain pen.” I read where a major bank spent 14 years overcharging its customers more than $73 million. But the bigger story here is that no one noticed. CIBC reported itself to the Ontario Securities Commission and has agreed to pay the money back. When I read this story, my question is why don’t they tell us how it happened so we can get our money hidden away from these people? I have all kinds of these questions. It’s like when people are filming people who are starving, are they giving them some of their grub too or are they going without as well? Then, there’s people who film people are in danger, why not throw down the camera and holler something or a crazy thought – go give a helping hand!

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Here’s another word that never used to be around, but it’s everywhere now : “vaping.” The Wall Street Journal had an interesting piece on competitive vaping, which it calls an “extreme sport.” The sport is dubbed “cloud chasing.” Those who compete in cloud chasing use their e-cigs and lungs to produce truly mind-boggling vapor puffs. The fans who like to watch the vapors are called “cloud gazers.” I guess it take practice to do all this stuff even though it’s something you probably do as a habit anyway. It’s like if you sat at your kitchen table swilling beer and chucked peanuts up in the air and catch them in your trap. Then scan the internet to see if there was a peanut catching competition or even better a world championship somewhere. You know there just goes to show that there’s a great big world out there and it appears it has been passing me by and I didn’t even know it. I’m going to spend a great deal of my time trying to figure out how I can get a few thousand bucks from crooked banking and won’t have time to hone my skills.

You know, sometimes I get all jacked up about something, only to see it fizzle. The latest time is when I got sat down to watch what I thought would be a good flick – “Constipation.” Much to my chagrin, I discovered that it had not come out yet.

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Mark Taylor
Mark is an unapologetic Hab loving, Bonny River living guy who enjoys guitar and obviously good hockey. Also the host of weekly talk show aptly named The Mark Taylor Show (CHCO-TV) and weekly contributor to the Saint Croix Courier.