Courier columns; Rollin’ on the River with Mark Taylor

Mark Taylor provides your annual horoscope for 2022

Aries

First things first, don’t get surprised to see a slow start of 2022. Especially the first quarter. You may be waiting for your ship to come in but you will probably be at the bus stop. Even though Saturn is in Capricorn, you may have to figure what that means because I don’t have a clue. I thought they stopped making Saturns a long time ago. But you’ve got to protect your career, so make sure you watch out for the backstabbers. The best defense is a good offense, so start some good rat stories about co-workers.

Taurus

The year 2022 may start on a good note, so that is some good news right at the start of the year, don’t you think so? The main reason for saying this is because it’s my sign. I have to look after number one. Try to plan all your scheduled activities at the start of the year as this is the best time for you as a tsunami could come sometime in the summer and wipe out everything. Your actions and achievements can coordinate well with each other, which can then be the reason for success and celebration especially when you win all that money that I foresee.

Gemini

A unique year is awaiting you in 2022. This is a year where you would be more action-oriented and chase your dreams one after another, just like an endless case of the trots. After each month, you should set up a goal and follow the same relentlessly, which may be something that you lacked in the past, and work towards it. This will ensure that your dreams are crushed on a more regular basis so you can get used to it like the rest of us. Good things will come your way just before moose season.

Cancer

The focus point for the Cancer natives this year may be personal life, career, finance and property. Studies have shown that people who have quit their jobs, ripped-off a bunch of people and burn everything for the insurance will flourish most of the time. All these spheres would be integral and essential, as there are quite a few that would happen in all these spheres of life. Action breeds confidence, courage and also indigestion. Laziness pays off now while hard work pays off WAY down the road.

Leo

2022 is going to be an action-oriented year for the majestic lion. Try snagging a job as an alleged telemarketer with the look of a local phone number so people will actually answer your calls. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t bring home low-mid six figures in this day and age by sitting on your couch and making phone calls. The results of your actions would be as per the efforts that you put. Just make sure you hang up if people start talking about cops or lawyers.

Virgo

The year may have many ups and downs for Virgo native. It is because of this, that I’m suggesting you throw caution to the wind and make snap decisions on everything. People who think things through are usually the ones that miss out great opportunities or get shoved around in line-ups. Consulting with your family would also be an apt solution during this year, especially if you’ve got a loved one in the slammer. Sometimes just by talking to people who have made bad decisions can help you NOT make them.

Libra

The year 2022 may be progressive and supportive in many ways. If at first you don’t succeed, then maybe skydiving is not for you. Experimentation is a quality that may make you stand out in the crowd, so it is essential that you learn a bunch of dumb jokes and try them out at work. Example: The editor rejected my column. She said my metaphors are incomprehensible and now I’m as sad as a coconut.

Scorpio

In the year 2022, your anxiety level may be high, as you could experience a bunch of setbacks that has never been seen in the history of the universe. If you thought a bad haircut was bad, then you wait and see what’s coming at you this year. It’s essential that you fuel your life with healthy habits such as reading depressing books, target practice, being a bigger idiot in the community and hanging with people of the same thinking and liking. Watch out for a big racket to happen around bird season.

Sagittarius

When the year 2022 is discussed for the Sagittarius folks, then the following possibilities or points may need to be remembered. First, your ability to experiment and buffalo people make you capable of perhaps securing some government money to do studies on things. This means finance may be one area which you would undoubtedly control at the right time. Thus, your financial position may be more stable and even robust and as usual, make sure you hold onto your empties.

Capricorn

When 2022 is discussed, your attraction towards beauty and harmony may bring you close to new situations. This may make you feel more relaxed and efficient. A sense of joy and cheerfulness may fill you this year, probably by bow season. You might be wise to be careful where you put up your treestands as it’s a good way to get a sore face or have the tree cut down. No need of looking like a “hard-looking ticket.”

Aquarius

This year which is 2022, you may see harmony to be the keyword for you. The good news is the price of fuel will continue to stay high so you don’t have to stand out in the cold so long to get 20 bucks worth of gas. I know the Aquarius in Saint John was always a good place to get a bite and a cold one so I’m guessing it’s where your sign’s name came from. You probably make great tenderloin tips too.

Pisces

Don’t feel left out, Pisces, because you’re the last sign among the 12. You have your own power and strengths to keep you above the rest. Time and again, situations arise where you may get agitated pretty quickly this year. Just make sure you don’t sit back and let some idiot walk all over you. Make sure you get “lunch while they’re getting dinner,” or you may look like a “sight for sire eyes.”

Mark Taylor is a long time Courier columnist whose views on life and living are usually unconventional and definitely outside of the box. He’s a true Charlotte County boy who has the right to remain silent, but not the ability.