Courier columns – Rollin’ on the River with Mark Taylor

As I’ve said many times, I am sort of guilty of not thoroughly reading things closely. Hey, I’m not just talking about the agreements we have to sign all the time that ask if we have read and understand them either. I’m talking about new headlines and things like e-mails that are just short of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald song. If there is one topic that might catch my eye and cause me to pause it would be music. I pride myself as being a bit of a music expert as long as it’s not heavy. When I say heavy, I mean I’m more of an expert for somebody named, “Bachman,” than I am with some dude named “Bach.” I may be crazy but I think most people around here could identify, “Takin’ Care of Business,” a lot easier than could, “Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.”

I was scanning the newsfeeds last week and noticed a headline that read, “Seal Celebrates his 31st Birthday with a Giant Ice Cake.” I thought to myself, “There’s no way he’s only 31? Geez, he must be having a tough time if he can’t afford a real cake?” Of course, I was thinking of the British singer-songwriter with this name and the headline was talking about the sea creatures. I found out all of this after some in-depth research and patted my self on the back as I found out that old Seal is actually 57, so my original assumptions were indeed, correct. Also, from all accounts he still has some coin around and knows where his next box of Kraft Dinner is coming from. Don’t even get me started on the New Pumpkin Spice flavoured Kraft Dinner either. I suspect there will be some arrests overt hat one.

This one came from “Did you see this one coming?” department. I read where the ferry going from Deer Island to Campobello is cutting back its trips to just Wednesday to Sunday starting this week. Also, the service is only going to be available until December 1st. I’m not pretending to be a politician, but I do know that something has to be done about this. Can you imagine the uproar if somebody told you, “Hey, you better get your MRI re-scheduled for later on in the week ‘cause you can’t go to the Regional on Mondays and Tuesdays. They got the road shut down going up to Saint John.” I try not to be too impatient, but I believe I’ve brought this up before. I know I’m a good one to talk; nobody can procrastinate like I can. I remember George Carlin talking about people like me one time – “When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, how can that be? How can you not have all day?” Anyway, I’m taking care of my procrastination issues, just you wait and see.

I don’t pretend to be able to get into the minds of all the wild animals but I do appear to at least have a basic understanding. It is my belief that they are really not much different than humans. For instance, I recently overheard a couple crows talking in my trees one morning. One guy said, “I saw on Facebook last night that old Georgie Porcupine was gonna take a walk across the #1 highway. I haven’t seen any more posts since then, so I’m thinking I’m taking a quick look around to see what’s been eating him lately.” Some people wonder why I always talk to animals. That’s okay, the animals understand.