Courier columns – Rollin’ on the River with Mark Taylor

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you” – Robin Williams

I actually missed out on the Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump that went down last week. I had to clip my toenails that night. From what I can tell, it was just a snippet of what has been going on in the United States for the past few years and it contained no surprises whatsoever. People knew Trump was going to speak out of order and interrupt every sentence uttered by Biden. It was going to contain personal attacks and would stoop to any level. When somebody has to say, “Will you shut up, man?” you know things have gotten pretty bad.

One comment that did catch my eye was when Biden said that Trump was the worst President in the history of the country. I am not sure what criteria was used. Also, I was not around for the past 244 years, so it’s pretty tough for me to pass out grades on Presidents. The thing about it is that according to the process of elimination, somebody HAS to be the worst. I will never forget my hero George Carlin once saying, “Somebody has an appointment to see the world’s worst doctor today,” and he was right then and it’s still applicable today. After months of downplaying the seriousness of the pandemic we’re in, Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19. I’m not piling on here about this; that’s a dangerous thing as I believe that Karma will get you if you go down that road.

Nobody likes to hear, “I told you so,” and can attest to that personally. I was in a blacksmith’s shop one time and the guy told me to watch out and stay safe. For some reason, I found it necessary to grab onto a red-hot horseshoe. The guy said, “Hot, ain’t it?” I replied, “Nope, it just doesn’t me all day to look at a horseshoe.”

Now that we are nicely into the autumn season, we are all allowed to ask certain questions about things from the past. The one that I always liked was, “Did you have a nice summer?” This will be a tough one for most people to answer, if they give it any thought. Most of the time people don’t even give it a second thought and say, “yes.” This one is different. From what I can tell, most people are not going to look back fondly on 2020, should they. I’m not going into the “what and why,” as I’m pretty sure most people are aware of what’s been going on in the world. The big one that people can now use is, “I ain’t seen you since moose season! Where ya been?” It is my belief that this one can be used until the end of the year and can be switched up to put “deer season,” in it. I’m just really glad to live somewhere there’s not just four seasons. That sounds pretty boring to me.

I like to play guitar and sing a bit and I am always on the look-out for new songs to learn. I looked up a kind of an obscure Tom Cochrane song the other day, “Just Like Ali” to see how it’s played and sang. If you have heard the song, you will notice the words are hard to make out throughout most of the song. That’s because Tom’s Dad Tuck and the Great Muhammad Ali both died from Parkinson’s and he slurred the lyrics purposely to reflect the effect the disease had on them. It came out in 2002 on Tom’s “Trapeze” album as an extra for his greatest hits compilation. You know, every once in a while, I discover something that probably not many people know. The last time this happened was when I was in elementary school and I went home and told my family that I answered a question from the teacher that nobody else in the class knew – “Who farted?”