Rollin’ on the River: “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everybody says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” – Homer Simpson

Mark Taylor

I have to say that music is a big part of my life. I listen to it whenever I can and this past week made me enjoy it even more. Also, I am a bit of a skimmer when it comes to reading things, so when I saw the headline “The WHO downgrades COVID pandemic, says it’s no longer a global emergency,” it warmed my insides. I have always enjoyed the talents of Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend, so when I saw the band was chosen to make this kind of announcement, it was extra special. When you think about it, they could have gotten a whole host of medical professionals or entertainers to do this, but went with this huge, legendary British band. By the way, my favourite tune of theirs is Baba O’Riley. I looked everywhere to see if they performed when they made the announcement, but they did not. It seems that every time the WHO make any kind of news, some dude named Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus is always doing the talking and he’s not even in the band. This is the stuff that bands break up over, so I hope the boys get this stuff straightened out.

When I was shuffling through the news stories of the past week, I stumbled onto a story about a woman who had five husbands die on her. At first, I thought she must’ve just had really bad luck with love, but it appears she is now being charged with murder in the death of hubby number five. We all know that where there’s fire, there’s smoke. I remember a similar story about a guy who had three wives die on him and was relating the events to one of his new acquaintances. “I was married to my first wife for a few years and she died from poison mushrooms. Then, I got married again and as luck would have it, she died from eating poison mushrooms too,” the guy explained. Before he could go any further, he got interrupted. “Don’t tell me, your third wife died from poison mushrooms too?” The guy paused and said, “Nope, she died from a cracked skull. She wouldn’t eat the poison mushrooms.” As we like to say in Charlotte County, “This is the same, only different.”

As much as I like to find interesting news for the readers of this paper, I also like to read the comments made by readers on news stories. I was reading a recent story about man charged with a robbery at a restaurant, and the only comment was, “Loosers, loosers everywhere. Find a job and feed yourself instead of stealing from others.” Although I never comment, I did have one for this, that would have read like this: “I agree. They should tighten up on the loosers!”

You can scour the internet looking for stories or news items, but sometimes, if you’re really lucky, they will find you. Just last week, something happened to me that is certainly newsworthy. I must confess I completely missed all the recent coronation of King Charles III, but I did see something that rivals it. I was walking into a Burger King last week and off in the distance in the parking lot there was a guy sitting in a van wearing a Burger King crown. I have no idea if he was a true fan of the Royals, but it certainly caught my eye. I hollered, “You’re the King, bud!” I also gave him the thumbs up and it gave one back to me. It is a memory that I’ll always have, and I’ll be able to tell people that I saw the king in person just days before the big celebration.

Mark Taylor is a long-time Courier columnist whose views on life and living are usually unconventional and definitely outside the box. He’s a true Charlotte County boy who has the right to remain silent, but not the ability.