Rollin’ on the River with Mark Taylor-Warning: Objects in Life May Be Crazier Than They Appear

Rollin’ on the River

Mark Taylor

Warning: Objects in Life May Be Crazier Than They Appear

Somehow, somewhere in a galaxy far away, somebody made sunglasses an accessory, instead of things to protect your peepers from the sun.  I’d like to think they’ve been on the go since the morning and forgot they were still there, but I somehow doubt it. This is the same type of people who wear ball caps backwards and then put their hand over their eyes to shield them from the glaring sun. You see people at night walking around with them still on their head, and they aren’t even Corey Hart. Let’s see how many people get that one. Then there are the people who are wearing them around inside on their eyes because if they took them off, they’d bleed to death. “Can you tell me where the Visine is?” Laugh, I thought I’d die.

I think that doing nothing is possible, and I also think that it can be dressed up a bit to make it sound flashy or even important. I remember asking a guy one day what his neighbor was doing. He told me the guy was a “fresh air inspector.” I said, “That’s great, as long as he’s finally found something he’s good at, he should keep on keeping on.”

Last weekend I had problems with my internet connection. Of course, I had to call in and report it. I managed to get a chance to talk to “Darren,” who had some great ideas on what was wrong. After I tried all of his tricks, he told me that it appeared to be an equipment problem and he’d get somebody to come have a look at it. I had done some homework and discovered that scads of people, (some within a stone’s throw) that were all down as well so that kind of ruled out old Darren’s theory. So I said to Darren, “Do you believe in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, bud?” It is my belief that a lot of people don’t “get” me, so I guess my line of questioning was over his head and I’m not surprised after he asked me who was winning the hockey “match,” I was watching.

Sometimes optics is everything. I remember working at a place where my boss was chosen to be the office manager.  To say he took the role reluctantly is an understatement. If you’ve ever read the story about the three bears, you will get a perspective of what the job was like. “This porridge is too hot, this porridge is too cold, this bed it too soft, this bed is too hard, and on and on.” One day, after being given the new role, my boss called me in, and told me that although he was the office manager, he viewed it as being more of an office ‘team’ thing. He wanted to inform me that I was on this team, and he was not going to appoint anybody else and that I could have it all to myself.

Whoever said that there is no “I” in team is full of crap. Also, he assured me that any monetary rewards that he received would be passed onto me as he didn’t feel right getting compensated for something he didn’t do. That was 20 years ago and I’m still waiting for my “radioactive” pay (Charlotte County saying). There used to be a sign in New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner’s office and it read, “Rule Number 1 – The boss is always right. Rule Number 2 – If in doubt, refer to Rule Number 1.” My former boss also had two favourite sayings that he would lay on me that were a bit bizarre. Whenever a storm would hit, I would ask if it would be okay if I went home, he’d always say, “Let your conscience be your guide.”  That one was no big deal; I could drive home in a blizzard and have my handprints molded into the steering wheel with no worries. The other one would come up whenever he would override decisions that were made or when he was exercising his power and it was, “There’s no sense having authority if you can’t abuse it.” Laugh, I thought he’d die!